Forum Posts

ewstraight
Apr 22, 2019
In Challenges and Solutions
Please check out the forum post on a mindful to do list. This tool was life changing for me! It allowed me to see how I was overscheduling myself and gave me permission to say no without guilt. Emotional Blackmail by Susan Forward How to set healthy boundaries and why it's important for self care. A great resource of worksheets for self-coaching!
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ewstraight
Apr 22, 2019
In Monthly Meeting Prompts
Tell us about your solo date! What did you do? What obstacles did you need to overcome (mental or otherwise) and what was this experience like?
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ewstraight
Apr 01, 2019
In Monthly Meeting Prompts
This week we worked on creating our personal support system. These prompts can also be found in the Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal if you are using that as a journal. Give yourself 20 minutes to journal on this. How do I feel when I think about reaching out and asking others for help? What limiting beliefs or thoughts do I need to release in order to become comfortable asking for more help? Who in my life is good at utilizing a support system, and what do I admire about them? How would I feel if I were completely supported and nurtured by a robust support network? How would my life feel different? Continue to create your support circle chart. Hang it in a place to remind yourself you have resources to call upon. Add phone numbers. Get crafty with it if that keeps you inspired.
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ewstraight
Apr 01, 2019
In Challenges and Solutions
"Music is the space between the notes." - Achille-Claude Debussy Hello friends. I thought I would share one of the tools I used to cultivate my ability to say no without guilt. It was a process I came up with by combining an exercise I did with Rolf Gates to help me get clarity on what my values and priorities are and I combined it with what I call a Balanced To Do List and Mindful Calendar. The mindful calendar/to do list was adapted from the book 18 Minutes, Find your Focus, Master Distraction and Get the Right Things Done by Peter Bregman. It was a HUGE help in allowing myself to say no to people. It might be an exercise you do on your solo date this month. Step 1) Take stock of values and actions. Sit down with your journal and get quiet for a while. Ask yourself: What matters most in my life? What gives me a sense of purpose? Where do I wish to spend my time and energy? Then take stock. I wrote a line down the middle of page and listed the priorities on on the left and then got really honest on the right about where my time and energy was truly going. Give yourself a full 10 minutes to journal. In my case I noticed that there was a major misalignment between my values and behavior. Step 2) Create a Balanced To Do List. Draw 3-5 boxes of the areas you wish to be a priority. This will be different from mine. And one box for the stuff that doesn't feed your sense of purpose but just needs to happen. For me they were: Connection with Friends and Family Providing growth opportunities for my students/clients Life-long learning and inviting wonder into my life. Mental and Physical Self-Care Finally I added a box and label it 5-10%. This is the box where you put the stuff in that doesn't fit in the other boxes. It is the stuff that stuff that comes with life or that you said yes to out of guilt or habit. Stuff like getting the oil changed, the PTA breakfast, and doing taxes. My target was to get this down to 5-10% of my time (still working on that!) Take stock again. This should give you a really good idea of where your time is going and if you are putting your energies into the areas that matter to you most. Work towards finding some balance across the boxes. Some weeks will require you to put more time into certain boxes, but if you find week after week you are ignoring a box, make some changes. Step 3) Create your Mindful Calendar. Print out a weekly Google Calendar that breaks down the days by hour. If you use Google calendar keep your appointments on it when you print it out. Start to fill in all the things on your to do list by the hour on the calendar. I mean all of it. Then add the things that are regular things that take up time but might not get on the to-do list. Walking the dog, doing the laundry, driving to yoga class or the kids' soccer games. Add the time you need to return emails. Eating and preparing meals. Time you spend outside your office working. All of it gets included and scheduled. Take a deep breath. Is there any open space on your calendar? Creativity, inspiration, and personal growth need open time to happen. Journal prompt: What are you saying no to in order to say yes to the things on the calendar. What priority areas are getting the short shift? Are there things that someone else can do that are on your calendar? Do they really need to get done? What if you got rid of the half-finshed projects you've been working on that really don't matter to you that much anymore? Assuming you had the resources, could you pay or barter with someone to take over some of the 5-10% list? What would it feel like to see open space on that calendar? What would life feel like if you could replace some of the things you don't care about with open time or things you truly care about? Step 4) Repeat this each week for a month. Work on saying no to the things that don't fit in your 4-5 priority boxes. Work on delegating things in your 5-10% box.
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ewstraight
Mar 24, 2019
In Self Care Rituals
Hi friends! I have recently been asked by my friend and yoga teacher, Angelina Fox, to help her finish her Ayurveda certification by being her guinea pig for her final project. After filling out a questionnaire and an in person interview, we determined she might best help me in a few areas: digestion, dry skin and the biggie- sleep. I am excellent at falling asleep. I have been less excellent at staying asleep. She has put me on a program of tea before bed and a sesame seed oil, full-body massage before bedtime every night. At first I was kind of bummed. Seriously, every night? She said it only had to be 5 minutes, but 20 minutes was ideal. What surprised me is how much I've enjoyed this ritual. I add a bit of essential oils so I don't smell like a wok, but I'be been pretty diligent about doing the "circle around the joints and long swipes on the bones" massage at night. It's become soothing and an opportunity to give some love to my ever-changing body as it grows older. To speak nicely to it, non-verbally, through action. And wow, I'm sleeping like a baby! I'm now waking up without an alarm clock, with a clear head. Such an improvement from the hung-over sensation I used to feel after waking up at 2:30am and not being able to get back to sleep until 5am! My mom used to say that bed-time was the first line of discipline. If you can get your children enough sleep, they tend to behave better and less discipline is needed. She wasn't wrong. A full night's sleep for an adult helps our brains and bodies recover and create new cells. Perhaps it's the first line of self-care. So it had me thinking about how important ritual is in self-care. I have some morning self-care rituals I've employed since the first retreat I attended. I'll share some of that next weekend. But I'm curious. Do you have some self-care rituals built into your day or life? Emily
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ewstraight
Feb 26, 2019
In Self Care Rituals
I promised an easy meditation for you. Just one minute is enough. Feel free to do it anywhere and everywhere as frequently as you like. Daily-ish is a good idea. Feel your feet on the ground if you are standing or sitting. Feel your backside on the chair if you are sitting. Sit or stand up straight. Eyes can be opened or closed. Breathe in your nose for a count of 5. Hold for a count of 2. Exhale out your nose for a count of 7. Repeat 6 times. Check in and see if any shifts occurred in mentally, physically, or emotionally. Remember that meditation isn't about getting rid of or even changing your thoughts. It's about developing a new relationship with them. If you are interested in learning more about how to meditate, I like the book "Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics" By Dan Harris. It's a great audible book. I also like the app Koru if you are looking to lengthen your mediation a little and like a guided one. It's free, simple, and easy to follow. Peace! Em
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ewstraight
Feb 26, 2019
In Pearls of Wisdom
Where there any a-ha moments or quotes that resonated with you this week? Please share them here.
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ewstraight
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